Hellooo world. Well let's see my last entry was hmmmm, about THREE YEARS AGO.

So let's recap...

Since the college program, I moved back to El Paso Tx because my sister was about to pop with my little nephew Miles Rhys Maddox <3 nbsp="" p="">
You see, once I got home I went to my old restaurant and saw many familiar faces, some I was too shy to talk to before. Luckily, I grew a little more bold to branch out and make new friends after the college program, so I started to talk to an amazing being named Laura. Laura blossomed my horizons to the fullest. I never had a dull moment with this Bettie....Our adventures will have to be another blog, but point blank, she made me forget the norm I was living in, in Texas. Let me, forget for a few hours how I felt I wasn't growing the way I would like to.

Anywho, days, months, years go by. Friends come and go, graduate, leave El Paso and I just sat in the audience watching this on going show. Of course you know there has to be some moments where I got up from my seat and took a stroll, and oh catch to LOVE BUG!! Yep through these past years, they definitely have come and gone, but oh boy these stories are a doozie! Buuuut, I think I'll that for another blog as well.

I need to this more often...get some steam off.

Till next time, Goodnight <3 nbsp="" p="">

update

Well it has been a month since I have moved to Florida and my life has definitely changed.

When I first got here I thought moving in would be pretty easy, seeing that I had already found three of my future roomates from facebook...but of course that was never going to be case, so the three lovely ladie and I were split for a while due to STUPIDITY. Well, luckily we were able to get all settled and we even added two more amazing girls to our equation and we get along great.

As for work...I couldn't be happier. My job makes families happy everyday and my co workers were sooooo welcoming. I definitely found some great friends from work....PAC ATTACK!

Of course, with all the happiness there is always some bumps on the road.

Even though I love being on my own, I can't help but to feel to alone...

My roomies are great, but it sucks being excluded in things when you aren't that type of person to always go out and want to drink and drink. ( roomies are not alchies, but i'm more calm). It was bound to happen I suppose...the cliques.

I'm lonely also by not having that "special" someone there for you. I feel everyone around me is getting such great luck in that department and I'm not...

Could I get a guy to have "fun"?...sure. Do I want to?...of course not.

I just want that guy who gets me...who makes me laugh, who knows what im thinking without me saying a word. I guess I just want to find that spark that I thought I found back home, but that was more like a crappy sparkler on Fourth of July ( hahahaha).

Hmmmmm...I just need to patient i suppose. Easier said then done.

fences up

Love....relationships.....I really don't know what these words mean.

I mean, I give plenty advice to friends when they need someone to talk to, but I never seem to take it for myself.

Ok, maybe I should start from the beginning.

Well, I won't trace back to middle school, because...well let's face it that was all crap and we didn't know what we were doing back then. (or really now for the matter =/)
Hmmm...in highschool, freshmen year; I met a senior named Hector who was in my choir class. One day, he saw me crying because I just lost my best friend (stupid drama). He tried to make me feel better and he did soooo we became friends. I soon learned though, that he wanted a lot more then a friendship. Of course me being new, I thought sure why not...he's a senior, what's the worse that can happen.....

I NEVER KNEW THAT A GUY COULD GET SOOOO CLINGY. He would do such bazarre things to me like write poems in a binder and tell me to read them while listening to Coldplay?!
I just felt very sufficated. We lived in two different worlds. He was a senior who was getting ready for college and he has plans for me and him to stick it out while he was there; whereas, I was a freshmen just barely learning who the heck she was herself.

Towards the end of the relationship, I would try to find ways to get out. I would fight with him, but everytime i did, he would be the one ending up saying sorry....when I knew it was my fault.

I left horrible.

When I finally realized it had it had to end for good, was when he was apologizing again and said...I LOVE YOU.

Three words I have never said to a guy till this day. You see, I have a strong opinion about this phrase. I feel that now and days, people say it so much that it lost its meaning. I know that the day I finally say that to someone....I'll probably marry him....it means that much to me.

So...when I realized that we felt completely different about each other, it had to end.

It wasn't until three years later that I saw him again. I was at my new bestfriend's graduation and he sneaked behind me. We must have talked for 5 minutes and that was it...or so I thought. I think two days later, I was getting ready to go out of town for state competition with my bestfriend. While on the bus, she tells me that apparently when he saw me, all the emotions came back and he wanted a second chance....what?! Till this day I still don't get that. =/

The reason why I'm explaining this part of my life is because i'm convinced that because of these events in my past....I have really bad Karma

ugh...will be continued

learned a lot

I set a few goals for me back in December, of how I wanted drastic change in my life. I was very tired of my old routine, since...highschool.

You see, i have been performing for many years, in hopes of having a future in singing or broadway. It's a very strong passion of mine and i've met many people in my life who I charish for all my life. I started doing professional dinner theater shows when I was a senior in highschool in El Paso, so by freshmen year in college, I was pretty customed to it all. It just started seeming the all the time. Yes, i'm grateful that all the shows i've done, I always made it and even was precasted at times, but i felt that I hit the tip of the hill and now what?

just keeping as well...a dream....a distant dream.
So, i decided to make a change. I want to be able to say that i to action of my dreams then
I first chosed to stop doing dinner theater shows and only go to school and work. My grades improved sooooo much because I was more focused and I am able to work and make great tips as a server. During the semester, I looked into the Disney college program because i've always had an interest in it, but wasn't sure if I was ready.

My bestfriends and I always said we were going to get out together and they were interested in the program as well, but it was always just talk and no action. i just felt like excuses always got in the way. I love them with all my heart, but I knew it was time to break from the pack and adventure on my own.

So now i'm going to Florida by myself for 6 months....and I couldn't be happier and blessed.